Most people like to talk. Usually we talk about what we know. If we spend our time watching sports, we'll talk about sports. The same is true for politics, or foreign films, or history, or almost any topic. And then there are people who act as if they had full knowledge of all topics, but they are usually lying. What we say reveals who we are. This is something that a lot of people know, but don't really understand, except on a very basic level. And it is not just a universal truth: it's a very well covered Biblical teaching. Our tongues can deliver us out of tricky situations, and they can draw us into traps of our own making. The tongue has the power to bless, curse, praise and blaspheme. And the less we control it, the more damage it will do. Proverbs 17:27-28 says,
"He who has knowledge spares his words, And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit. Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive."
James 3 discusses the Treacherous Tongue; starting off with a warning that there shouldn't be many who strive to be teachers (official talkers), because teachers are held to a higher scrutiny. It is much easier to have the ambition to teach than it is to have the discipline, understanding and discernment to do it well. The words of all spiritual teachers are under the spotlight, in heaven and on Earth, and that is how it should be. But there are some "teachers" who are oblivious to that reality, and speak from the hip, letting their stronger emotions determine what they say. Many of these teachers are also in the habit of listening to their "students" only enough to begin formulating their own brilliant response. They love to talk, but don't value listening. Because the flow of communication is disrupted, they soon have almost nothing of substance to say, becoming a dead sea of words.
Wise teachers are aware of the higher standard, yet by faith they proceed, and pray that they might be up to the challenge. They speak carefully, disciplining their tongues. They speak as often as they need to, and listen as much as they can.
Jesus Christ issued his strongest warning, when talking about the tongue. You'll find in Matthew 12:30-37 Jesus:
- reveals that the only unpardonable sin has to do with speaking
- says "out of the mouth comes the abundance of what's in the heart"
- and he also warns that everyone will be held accountable for every careless word we speak (which is a great reason to speak thoughtfully and carefully).
Jesus had an uncanny ability to read between the lines with people. Sometimes he overheard whisperings from among the disciples, sometimes he even read people's minds, but mostly he just listened to what was being said to him. He also told us, "These things I do, you will do, and even greater things than these!" That is quite a promise for his followers. I follow Jesus fiercely, and have for most of my life. Out of all the people I've ever known or read about, Jesus always seemed to make the most sense to me. I have been blessed with the faith to believe his Word more than anything else. I believe him more than I believe myself. He speaks the purest truth the world has ever known. Universal truth. So I believe him when he says we can do what he did. And Jesus was very, very good at accurately figuring people out.
How did Jesus figure people out so well? He did it by listening to people. It's amazing how often we don't listen when we are in a conversation. M. Scott. Peck, in his fantastic book, The Road Less Traveled and Beyond goes into great depth about listening, and thinking, and communication. Listening takes effort, but it's well worth the price. Listening is an act of love. It is an ongoing effort (not a passive "skill"). But if you get into the habit of actually listening and absorbing what is being said to you, by you, around you, it may be that you will come to realize how much we all expose our true selves by the words we speak. If we speak in ways that lead to peace, and freedom, and love, and joy, and faith, and understanding and encouragement...our words are good. On the other hand, if we speak in ways that lead to envy, hatred, greed, pride, misery, hopelessness, and confusion...our words are bad. We are what we speak.
See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh.